


RPGdemic!

by OhgunAP



Series: The Politically Incorrect ARKS Operatives [5]
Category: Phantasy Star Online 2, Portal (Video Game), YouTubeurs - Barricade Garage
Genre: Crossover, Gen, SOLIDARITY!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhgunAP/pseuds/OhgunAP
Summary: The ARKS operatives enjoy a peaceful day off when the World Health Cartel interrupts the regularly scheduled broadcasts of the ARKS fleet to bring them a health bulletin that could sabotage ARKS' operations.
Series: The Politically Incorrect ARKS Operatives [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074413





	RPGdemic!

*As Cassandra takes a stroll around the shopping center, she takes a look at the screen where some of the outfits and parts of the Elegant Beginnings Scratch Ticket are being displayed*

Cassandra: Looks like there’s new designs available. Maybe I should get some new clothes for team.

*Before Cassandra could continue her stroll, everyone runs towards the screen in the Shopping Plaza*

Quna: Cassandra what’s going…

*Both Cassandra and Quna shudder when they notice a familiar face appear on every screen of the ARKS fleet*

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Because of recent increases of RPG Radiculopathy cases, we have no choice but to shut down the entire video game industry and order a termination of all ARKS, Earth Guide and Mother Corps operations. It’s all because we are beholden to Big Pharma, and we must use all avenues of communication to push vaccines.

Cassandra: Maximo’s not going to stand for this.

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Therefore, we of the WHO, have declared RPG Radiculopathy… a pandemic!

*The crowds are dumbfounded upon hearing Dr. Ghebreyesus’s announcement*

Aisha: The World Health Cartel’s out in full force today.

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: The symptoms associated with this new RPGdemic include but not limited to: playing Japanese-style role-playing games, playing western-style role-playing games, playing tabletop role-playing games, playing massive multiplayer online role-playing games, playing live-action role playing games and driving Nissan.

Kylo: Jin Kisaragi’s going to permanently freeze him for this…

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Modifying role playing games is also a symptom of the RPGdemic. Adding pornographic and other not safe for work modifications to said role playing games is a severe symptom of the RPGdemic. We now need universal cooperation if we were to stop this new RPGdemic from leaving a crack within our youth. Now we need universal… solidarity.

Maximo: Guys, how the hell did he get access to our network!?

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Solidarity.

Enga: We have no idea, but a robot named Wheatley has an idea on how to deal with that guy.

*Dr. Ghebreyesus continues to chant “Solidarity!” loud enough for everyone watching the broadcast to hear*

Wheatly: A perfectly timed concussive blast through a portal behind the disruptor should be enough to get him off of the broadcast. I’ve already sent Enga and Kylo a new Portal gun prototype that should be able to execute our plan regardless of location.

*Kylo fires a shot from the portal gun that opens a blue portal at the wall behind Aisha as Dr. Ghebreyesus continues chanting*

Kylo: The portal’s ready Enga. Just give the word.

Maximo: Xiera’s set your guns on stun, so you won’t actually kill him when you fire a charged shot from your machine guns.

Aisha: Thanks for the heads up.

*Aisha charges her machine guns as she aims at the portal in front of her*

Enga: Orange portal’s ready. Blast him away whenever you’re ready Eish.

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Solidarity!

*Aisha pulls the triggers that launches a charged shot at the portal*

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: GAH!

*The charged shot launched by Aisha blasts Dr. Ghebreyesus towards the camera, disrupting the signal in the process*

Aisha: Got him!


End file.
